Mom's Financial Problem

 Today is May 10th, and I went to drive grandma to the gym like usual. I noticed that she was a bit unhappy but I didn't ask because I also didn't want to know. However, she initiatively told me that my mom has asked her for the money, she told me not to tell others because I'm close to her so she tells me. I was not surprised because I knew for a long time that mom sometimes borrow money from grandma. The thing that I was surprised that grandma wasn't as happy as when she lends her son the money. I kind of felt unfair for my mom because she's also grandma's daughter but mom didn't get treated as her other siblings. Then I shared that I could not help nothing because my mom is her daughter and that she willing to lend money to her daughter. Then grandma told me that because my mom kept asking her so she had no choices. I then said to her that her sons also ask to borrow her money anyway. 

After hearing me said that, her face turned red and she clearly stated that non of her sons has ever borrowed her money. Then she told me that she will ask my mom for the reason my mom borrows money from her. I dropped grandma at the gym and helped her get checked in, then I went back to my car.

 I was concerned about the reason my mom ask to borrow money from grandma, the other reason could be that grandma somehow made up the story herself. However, I kept myself neutral and I didn't trust grandma's words due to the incidence she caused to my dad before. 

As I know about my mom, she has a high self-esteem and that her ego will be in charged if she got blamed for what she didn't do. It's also why I was hesitated to ask her for clarification right after grandma told me. In addition, I did analyze the possibilities that my mom would ask to borrow the money but those were not valid because it was only my analysis about this situation. 

After I parked my car at the park, I chose to texted to my mom to clarify this problem. I didn't asked her straightforwardly but I make a statement emphasized that grandma seemed  unhappy because she was out of money, then I slowly approached my mom by creating a question like: " Did anyone borrow grandma's money lately because she said that she's out of money!", I was expecting the honesty from my mom after sending this question to her. 

And boomed, she answered that she did borrow money from grandma! I was not surprised either because her answer was one of the possibility I expected. Now I started asking her the reason of her loans from grandma using the casual text in order to make my mom feels comfortable to share with me. She then shared that she is craved for some foods and beers. I asked her humorously: "Why didn't you tell me to buy those for you?" with a crying smiley face icon. She thought that I wouldn't agree to lend her money or I will get upset if she asks me to buy her beers.

 I told her just let me know if she ever needed anything even cash, if the amount between $100-$200, I can help her so she won't be borrowing grandma. She told me she wants to try to see if grandma will lends her some money like she did to her other brothers. I then explained to her calmly that: "It's non of our business that the others uncles borrow money from grandma, that's their own business." After knowing the reason I told her to return the money back to grandma after I drop grandma home from gym. She agreed to me that she will, I also hope that she will does as she said. 

About the reason for borrowing money, I also did not fully believe in my mom. Those reasons were just enough to let me calm. There's might be another reason that she wants to do, it could be the application fees or else paying others. At the end, the problem is solved from listening and acknowledging both sides of the story to come up with the solution. I knew that I sometimes couldn't get my mom what she need because she only has one job right now and she doesn't have cash to buy what she wants, she must felt really bad about herself for not being adequate. However, I can support her if she needed to or else I can gift her money every week so she can buy what she wanted. I felt relieved after having the text conversation with my mom about this problem hoping that what I said will calm her down and she will return the remaining funds to grandma. 

In the future, I will try to balance between work and study so I can go working more to have some income. According to my family's financial status, we're just earning enough to manage all the bills. Since my uncle passed away after my mom quit her second job not long ago, my parents went down to one job each. Therefore, as an oldest child, I hope to help them as much as I can in either document problem or financial problem, I hope to support them when they are in needed. 

As for my younger brother, his plan is going be be return to school this Fall just like me and maybe find a job to do over the summer. I just needed him to at least get himself what he wants from his own money. He's only 20, he's also miserable for not knowing which major he will be studying, just like me when I was 20 years old. Thus, I won't pressure him, I will let him lead his life going the way he wants it to be, just not staying unemployed for long time because that caused him to become more procrastinate and unknown in things he wants to pursue. 

After expressing these thoughts, I felt better because at least I won't be overthink about these issues wander in my mind after all. 


Saturday, May 10th, 2025

A peaceful and joyful Saturday

April

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